Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Moving Emotions

This story is two fold about moving emotions, firstly those connected with age and possibly retirement and those connected with moving home and moving on - as both seem quite pertinent to me at this point in my life.

Lets start with those connected with age and retirement - in the last 2 years of retirement I have found my emotions have changed and maybe for some people who worked with me they may even be shocked to know I had emotions other than drive, go getter and for some harsh and high work ethics (step up or step out emotion), but I always had a soft side and for those who where on it they knew (they were just sworn to never let anyone know about it).  In the last 2 years though my emotions have changed and the way I view things have changed as well.  While I still try to push myself and I still set short and long term goals I find that I am more open to events changing, things that use to drive me nuts (like people not delivering on what they promised) no longer do, things that use to make me cry or sad don't seem to as much these days - but they have been replaced with new things that make me cry ,feel sad or angry things that wouldn't have touched me in the way they do today.  Laughing, smiling and feeling happy seem to be significantly more these days and there seems to be more opportunity to find the happy, joyful in things.  Age is a great equalizer and as we get older we not only become wiser I believe we feel more of everything in new ways as we have time to reflect instead of reacting on our immediate thoughts (something I was extremely prone to do) and we have more time to smell the roses as the saying goes - time to sit and smile at the little things because we are not caught up in the mundane of work, kids, work, cleaning, work, shopping, work, commuting, work and lets throw in a little more of all of those things - that take the truly beautiful things away from our emotions and fill them with grrrrr (will this day ever end type emotions).  So retiring does change you fundamentally as you become more patient, I think more inquisitive into areas of life and the world that you may not have had the time to in the past, more relaxed and able to enjoy things on a more regular basis therefore making you happier.  Moving emotions!

Now onto the other type of moving emotions, after 75 of being under contract, organising our new home, organising our next 6 months while we wait for that new home to be built, deciding on exactly the form of adventure we would do and how we would do coupled with packing, cleaning, packing and cleaning we have been through a range of emotions.

Being under contract for so long is hard work - you pack bits and pieces here and there but you know you still have to live so the packing has seemed to go on forever - but you are not rushed so you tend to look and touch things more as you pack them - its funny the tears Derek and I have shed in this as we looked at things that we may not have for many years (you know things in a corner, things in the back of a cupboard, things put away into boxes for another day) - the memories you have in your home and your various treasures is amazing and with so much time to pack for the first time in our lives we spent the time reminiscing - laughing, crying, thinking of friends who may have given us the item, or shared it with us in some way - so it has been an emotional packed time  and I think for the first time everything was packed with love - we have never really had anything broken in transit, and often things were just thrown into boxes - not this time, the things we kept we were guarding with bubble wrap, paper and lots of fragile stickers.

We had things we had to do before heading off into the wild blue yonder - like getting our various medical check ups - something that always causes a certain amount of emotions especially at such a critical time of change for us - so again emotional in many ways as you worry and then as you give thanks that at least for now you have a clean bill of health.

Picking colors etc for the new home - making the small changes to a plan that just fit you better.  For a lot of people building a house is quiet stressful but not for us - we have become serial house builders but again lots to discuss, lots to agree or disagree on.

Deciding how we will travel around - so we had always decided if we sold and there was time up our sleeves before the new home was ready we would travel around Australia and become grey nomads - but exactly how that would be we didn't know, and while we had been looking at caravans etc for some time prior we really had not made up our minds - so we went about the process of looking more, and buying a camper trailer after many months of looking.  Having never really been camping except for our relocation trip in the first month of our retirement - even this was emotional as we started making lists, culling them down, working them back up again and taking delivery of our new camper - scary, feeling a bit pressured, nervous - can we do this, can we put the thing up.

Deciding where we will travel to - getting the info we needed now and upgrading things such as the ipad etc to accommodate our needs, learning new apps to make life a bit easier etc.  All new things , all things that cause a wide range of emotions.

Now that we have sold our home, have a room full of boxes and are travelling around to who knows where we thought - we had better up date the wills (found while packing) and make enduring power of attorneys for each other in case something happens - the girls where not even in their teens the last time we did this and now both of are over 21 so definitely time to up date - but sad and an emotional experience as you talk about these things with a stranger who will get what etc - the last time I was just 40 and indestructible and death wasn't really an option but its one of those things you just do when you are that age, with kids that age it was just a get it done, tick that box, but this time again with time and just being that bit older it had more of an emotional pull.

Trialing the camper - taking it out fully stocked and giving it a proper go - scary but fun at the same time.  We did that this week after all you don't know what you don't know until you find out you don't know - so off we went - emotional now we just simply can't wait and 1 more week we will be off.  Here is our new home for a few months anyway.

Saying good bye to friends and family (even if only for a few months) very emotional while everyone is so happy about the new journey its always sad to say we will see you in 6 months especially to your kids.

Helping my Mum as she wasn't feeling great and needed to go to some Doctors etc herself and taking her there - feeling a little bit of fear and perhaps some confusion for what might be wrong and how now given the circumstances we are in how we can help but also a new sense of love and caring as Mum is never really sick and this was unusual - but that is sorted for the time being but it added to the emotions of the last 3 months.

They say that moving is one of the most stressful times in a persons life - put that together with all of the above and you will see we have had some pretty emotional times in the last 3 months a bit of a roller coaster- ones full of hope for the future (new home), excitement for the new travels and new travelling experiences as well as many scary and slightly nervous moments, reminiscent of the things being packed and remembering good and bad times bring on tears and laughter as we packed all the most precious things we have.  Anticipation as we wait for the sale to finalise and in the thoughts of our new home (how will it look, when will it be ready).  Love for our kids as we say goodbye to them for a short while but knowing they won't be just around the corner.  Thinking of our lives and of course with doing our Wills etc our eventual demise (something none of like to contemplate).

I love moving even if it does make you emotional - at least you are feeling, learning, growing and more importantly changing and while I feel sick to death of packing and cleaning I can't wait for 30th May as we start our new adventures.

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